Pushing Through the Pain

So last week I went to see a doctor about some heel pain I've been having since training started. Turns out I've got Achilles tendinitis. It hasn't been too bad. Just some heel pain in the morning, a little after a run and some shin splints. It's been manageable. The doctor said to give up and not do the race at all, but I really want to do it. 

We had training this morning and I was feeling good. I walked rather than ran due to coaches orders. They said they wanted me to walk for the next couple weeks and then try running again. So I did. I walked all 7 miles today and had minimal pain when I was done. I stretched and have been resting since I got home. Now it's like my Achilles is on fire! Pointing my foot, it hurts. Flexing my foot, it hurts even more. Ugh! This totally sucks! If this is going to happen every time after the long run/walk, I'm not sure if continuing down this path is the right thing. I'm so torn. I want to continue but if I continue will it only get worse? 

I have til Monday to recommit to CCFA and the race so I have to make mydescision fairly quick. I'm only about halfway to my goal of $2700 so I still have a lot to raise by November. I've been lazy with fundraising and really need to get on top of it. 

What would you do in my situation? Would you push through the pain and rest when you can, or would you quit and find a new sport that's less harsh on the joints like swimming?? 

Adventures with an Orange Cape

I totally forgot to write about this!

A couple weeks ago, I was nominated by my teammates to be the Spirit Award winner for the week because of my braveness for finally sharing my story. I was presented with an orange cape that I got to wear all week.

I had a few activities planned so I proudly brought my cape with me and showed it off. No one really asked me about it (like it was completely normal) but whatever. I like to think that someone saw it and looked up what CCFA and Team Challenge is.

One of the rules of receiving the cape is to add something to it that represents you. I chose to embellish it with things that sparkle. The picture doesn't do it justice, but the blue stars are glittery and the trim around Team Challenge are stick on rhinestones. It's really cool in person.

While I'm glad I've shared my story, there's still a part of me that feels weird that it's out there, but I don't shy away from talking about it now if someone asks. So, thank you Team Challenge for giving me the push to put it out there and try and help others.

Emotions

This past week has been tough emotionally. I finally decided to tell "the world" my story of why I'm running with CCFA this year. In the past it was because of my mom, and while that still holds true, I'm now running for myself.

Aside from some close friends and family, I never really told anyone. It was embarrassing. I was ashamed. 4 years ago when I was going through the diagnosis phase, my health kept declining. I was losing weight, almost every time I ate something I'd feel nauseous, my joints were getting so inflamed that I became wheelchair bound. When people asked what was wrong, I'd say, "Oh it's just a soccer injury. I tore a ligament in my ankle and I need to stay off it for a while." Which was true, I actually did this to my ankle. It just so happened to coincide with all the other issues I was having so it was much easier to tell people it was because of soccer than "I don't know. We're trying to figure it out." I really HATED being confined to that wheelchair. I felt helpless, depressed, angry, frustrated...pretty much all the feelings you could imagine. What normally takes a person seconds to walk from their bed to the bathroom, would take me 5 minutes. My legs wouldn't straighten and when they did, it was so painful. I saw an orthopedic surgeon because of the torn ligament in my ankle, but he was concerned with the fluid build up in my knees. He said I looked like I walked like a person with MS or RA, but didn't have all the other symptoms. I remember when he took out that footlong needle to draw fluid to figure out what was going on. According to my husband, I turned completely white and looked like I was going to pass out. I was freaked. When I got my diagnosis, he said it all made sense.

I went to see my mom's GI doctor who was pretty sure I had UC based on all the information I had given him. More blood tests. But when I became confined to that wheelchair, he decided to just do a colonoscopy right away. That was a "fun" memorial day weekend. While everyone else is out drinking and having fun, I got to prep for the procedure. I will be forever thankful to my friends who came and took care of me while my husband had to work. They sat on the couch and kept me company while I chugged down the most disgusting liquids ever. They wheeled me to the bathroom and helped me stand up just so I could sit back down on the toilet (and came back to help me get back in my chair). I really did feel helpless.

When I woke up after the colonoscopy, the doctor told he was so sure it was UC, but after taking a look inside, there was so much damage to my guts (bleeding ulcers, polyps, etc), he said it was Crohn's disease, another type of IBD, but this one isn't confined to just the colon. It was everywhere. While most of the disease is focused in my colon, because of the other locations in my intestines, they call it Crohn's colitis. Mine was severe. The doctor prescribed me Prednisone to start (for a few months) and then wanted to put me on Humira (I ended up on Remicade instead due to insurance issues which was stupid and a whole other story).

The prednisone allowed me to walk on my own again within 4 days. It was my miracle drug. The downside, weight gain. And lots of it. Even 4 years later, I'm still trying to get rid of it. But I'll be ever grateful to it for getting me on the path back to my health. The Remicade has kept me in remission the past 4 years. I have little issues here and there, but nothing to land me back in the hospital or put me out of commission for a while. I have yet had to go back to using a wheelchair and I hope to keep in that way.

I got an email from a friend who thanked me for sharing my story. She said it motivated her to call her doctor and get checked out as she'd had some of the symptoms I had. Even though it was hard for me to finally push that send button and send off the email, I'll be glad if it helps even one person (though my husband says it should be five).

This morning at training, I was nominated for the Spirit Award this week because my teammates felt I was brave for telling my story. I'm still not sure how I feel about sharing my story, but, while I figure my feelings out, I have a cool orange cape for the week to wear everywhere and help spread the word about IBD.

Thanks for listening. And should you feel like supporting my fundraising goal to help find a cure for this silent disease, here's the link to my page: http://online.ccfa.org/goto/deborahclark

New Shoes Brings A New Attitude

I got new kicks to train in! First Wednesday run with the team I'm training with. Time to break them in! Let's do this!

That Time I Thought I Should Run Another Half Marathon

Ugh. What did I get myself into. I somehow thought it'd be a cool idea to run a half marathon again after 6 years. Well, I did get a little motivation. I received an email from CCFA about their newest endurance season in Las Vegas in November. It has been 6 years since I ran a half marathon (and with them). It's the last year that CCFA is going to be the charity for the Rock N Roll Vegas race, and now they've changed the race to run at night! Last time I ran it, it was an early morning race. So I see it as an added bonus that I get to run the strip at night. I'll have both experiences. The drunks stumbling out at 6am wondering what the heck all these people are doing, and then this year, it'll be the ones who are just getting started.

Training started last week. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. It's been a while since I really exercised, so baby steps, right? I've been walking during my lunch break, getting in what I can in case I couldn't go running after work. Wearing my Fitbit has been helping me try and hold myself accountable for getting in my 10K steps a day. I've been averaging maybe 7/8K, so not too bad. I'll get there.

So now that I'm actually doing this, I'll probably be updating my blog more often (at least try to) with my ups and downs of running and fundraising and whatever else might come up. Should be interesting. . . wish me luck!

Motivation with Fashion

I read somewhere that if you put on your workout clothes, you're more likely to get out and exercise. So I tried that today. I almost forgot how great I feel after a good run/walk. Plus I don't feel guilty eating food! I took Zoe out with me. Either her age or the extra weight she has now slowed her down a lot more than I'm used to. We did about 3 miles in 50min. Not my best, but after a workout hiatus, it's not bad. One day I'll be able to finish a 5K in less than 40min. In the words of Barney Stinson: Challenge accepted!

I think cute workout clothes definitely play a part in motivation for me to want to get out and exercise. If I want to wear the clothes I have to work out. My mom bought be a couple running skirts a few years ago and I almost forgot I had them. There's a company out there that I once found at a race expo, Skirt Sports. They have really cute running skirts I want to try.

Speaking of cute clothes, I recently bought this adorable shirt.

I'm super excited to get it in the mail and wear it for my next workout! If you're a Doctor Who fan, you'll get the reference. :)

Burnt Out But Still Volunteering

Wow. I've been really absent from this whole blogging thing. I'm going to try and get better at that.

Relay for Life season has begun. And I did something crazy this year. I actually volunteered myself to be the Survivor Event Chair. What was I thinking?! Oh right, I didn't want Michele (our event chair) to have to do everything. We're all burnt out from doing this for so long but a few of us have stepped up to keep it going. I swear, if we didn't, our Relay this year probably wouldn't exist. Leo and Carole have been the event chairs the last few years and when they stepped down, no one wanted to take it on - they were that awesome; big shoes to fill. But Michele stepped up to the plate. Go gurl!!

So this year's theme is Wish Upon A Cure. If you can't tell, it's a Disney theme. This opens up the campsite options really wide. My team has decided on turning our campsite into Andy's Toy box (from Toy Story). It's actually a neat idea. We can build a border around our site to look like a toy box and then fill it with all things Disney. Everything we love about Disney, etc. And on the bottom of our shoes, we will have a piece of tape that says Andy on it, kinda like in the movie. Not sure if everyone wants to dress up as characters, but I won't stop them. I love costumes anyways!

So this Survivor Chair position - I've been trying to figure out what it means for Relay other than planning a survivor event before Relay weekend and manning the survivor tent on the actual event. Apparently I need to plan the opening ceremonies for survivors and make a speech. Awesome. I hate public speaking. Michele hates it worse than me and she now wants me to be the speaker for the whole event. Ha! We'll see about that. Though I guess it's not the worst thing in the world.
Michele doesn't want to do butterflies or doves this year. We started brainstorming ideas and I suggested bubbles. Giant bubble machines to fill the stage and engulf the survivors. In my head it looks really awesome. Kinda like this:

But I fear it might turn out like this:

We'd need bubble machines, not foam ones. That, I feel, would get everyone wet, and I'm pretty sure the survivors wouldn't like that. Especially if it's not hot outside. So the search begins...